if only i could text you this smell
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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