his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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