so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The struggles of a small town man whore
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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