Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
