She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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