I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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