She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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