Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
