I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
