she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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