its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
