Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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