it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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