Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
