I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
