I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
