I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
