no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why didn't you poke me back
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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