Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
