But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Sober January is a disaster.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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