She went from zero to smokin in five shots
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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