u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
