you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
