Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
