I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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