Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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