I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
