so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
