I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
