Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
