I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
