Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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