Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
