So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
