she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
