i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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