took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
