she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
