So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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