where am i from again
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
third nipple confirmed
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
