Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hippo gnu deer
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
