so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
