Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
