There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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