Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
