i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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