I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
