so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
