the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize