My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
